Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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