Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
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