Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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