Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
