dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You took a bar mat shot.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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