12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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