sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
