I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
