mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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