I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
