Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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