Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize