Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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