to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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