ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
