Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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