can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize