Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
