I'm really into asian looking animals
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
