I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
