ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
