summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
