yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
