I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
