You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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