dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
