No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
