Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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