Can i not drive my cunt home
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
