Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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