I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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