I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
