In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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