She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize