when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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