ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
