I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
