She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
