so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
