i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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