Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
