He disabled his match.com account in front of me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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