It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
