id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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