Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
