Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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