Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We have started to decorate penises.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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