I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
