Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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