saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
