Swine flu. Run for my life!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
