She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
