What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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