I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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