there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
