She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize