In the future we'll all be gay
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
