Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
