bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
