i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
