we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize