Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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