And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
