the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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