i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
should my penis look like a turkey
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
