i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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